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Writer's pictureSherrika Sanders

Is it Me? Am I the Problem?


You might be. But is it your fault? Have you been equipped with the tools to excel in your position, or did your organization need a workhorse and decided to give you a title for a position you were already doing, with little to no increase or incentive, and no support? Just a smile and a pat on the back with the [un]reassuring “I know you can do it” (translation: figure out a way to get this done).


As a result, you find yourself working long hours. You have now become a 24/7 support for the team. Work-life balance is a faraway memory. You are meeting the business goals, for the most part. Upper management seems impressed with you and may even provide additional rewards and recognition for the work you have done. But what happens if you decide to set some limits for yourself?

  • What happens if you are not available over the weekend, and do not answer the phone during your vacation?

  • What happens if you push back or decide to delegate that “important” project to a team member?

  • What happens if you say that you are not able to accept a new project with the given deadline if your current workload is not re-prioritized?

These are common concerns experienced today in corporate America. Especially, if you are in a department that is deadline or metric-driven, as most are. The organization has made it known that you are replaceable. You work based on fear of the unknown. You make it your goal, at the sacrifice of your mental and physical health, and time with your family to make sure the company understands how valuable a resource you are. Guess what? They already know.


Contrary to what you believe, you were not given your position. You earned it. They did not do you a favor by acknowledging the work you have done. You deserved the acknowledgment and probably a bonus to go with it. They were not doing you a favor when they did not call you after 9 PM last night, even though they really needed your help. You are not available during this time anyway. Let’s stop allowing our fears to dictate what we put on our plates and how we organize our to-do lists.


Know that you are worth everything you have. I made the mistake of not knowing my worth. The company knew I didn’t, so they took advantage of that. I can blame them all I want, but I had to set some boundaries and make the right changes for me.

You can still be an involved parent, a supportive spouse, or a single ‘ready to mingle’ and have a thriving career. Set your boundaries. It is never too late. You may raise some eyebrows, but this is when you will learn that they only took advantage of you because you let them.


Utilize the team. Start to delegate tasks to members of the team. Team members support each other. If you cannot delegate simple tasks to members of your team, then you probably have the wrong team. You do not have to be the manager of the team to pull the team together to work towards common goals. When you are a good team member, others will want to work with you. They will want to help you. They will follow your leadership without batting an eye because they do not want to lose the support you give to them.


Learn accountability. While you provide a level of skill and leadership that is unmatched. Sometimes, it is your fault. It’s not the man. You were not set up. Acknowledge the issue. Own the errors (and the wins!) from you and your team and move on! Everyone makes mistakes. You waste a lot less time bringing the issue to light. Correct it and move on. No one is perfect. You would be miserable if you were [perfect] because no one else is.


Be honest. You cannot be everything to everyone because then you are nothing to no one. Set boundaries. Give realistic deadlines for when a task can be completed. It is okay to go back to your manager, ask to sit down together and look at your list of priorities. Everything cannot be due right now.


Make sure you are in a position where you can thrive. You may not see yourself retiring from this company, but what are the benefits keeping you there today? (side note: If money is your only benefit, then you are at a job, not a career.)

- Is there unlimited PTO?

- You have a great team or a great support system in management – as they say, people don’t leave companies, they leave managers.

- Is there an opportunity for short-term growth (within the next year)?

Make sure your decision to be there makes sense. If you cannot meet your short- or long-term goals with this company, then it’s time you start looking for your next opportunity.


Quick: name three things that are keeping you with the company you are in right now – without focusing on salary.


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