Code Switching. An Ethnic Name. Your Background. Uphill Battles in Corporate America
Raise your hand if you have ever assumed to know a person’s race because of their name or the way their voice sounds 🙋🏾 Yes, I have been guilty of the same and even laughed to myself when Keisha was a Caucasian woman, Eddie was an Asian, and Dwayne was a Caucasian man. Yes, I was taken aback when the Asian man had a deep Southern accent. While these assumptions are not fair, I believe it only becomes offensive to the other person when you communicate your assumption by asking the person why they sound the way they do or “How did you get that name?”. Some names are more common in some communities than others. But is it fair to tell these people they should change their name on their professional resume, LinkedIn, or in corporate settings? Or better yet, to change their voice (code switch) if they want more opportunities? No. Unfortunately, it is the only way some people believe they will get the attention of their target audience. Even more unfortunate, many of these people are right.
I was a victim of code-switching. I would hear my mom change her voice when she answered the phone. Then, we could tell if the call was a friend or work based on whether she stayed in her “white voice” or went back to her regular voice. So, I did the same thing. In corporate settings, I changed my voice to assimilate because that is what I thought I was supposed to do. Ironically, it was my daughter that called me out on it (in disgust) when she became old enough to realize what I was doing. That started my path to correct my behavior. Especially, when my “regular” voice is quite eloquent, pronounces words correctly, and uses correct grammar just fine. (Side note: I must take this moment to applaud my husband and my efforts for her to know that she is enough as is and does not need to adjust who she is for the acceptance of others.)
No, I do not have a nickname…for you. Is it a fair question to ask someone if they have a nickname when they introduce themselves? Umm…no. It’s not. If I introduce myself as Sherrika. I expect to be called Sherrika (pronunciation found here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sherrikasandersmba/). You can ask me to repeat it. You can ask me to spell it. We can even use it in a sentence if needed. But at the end of the day, I expect and will only answer to Sherrika or Sherrika Sanders. Additionally, if you ask me for a nickname and I tell you I do not have one and I consider it offensive to ask for one. You can never counteract my offense with your opinion. No one can tell you what you are allowed to be offended about. No one can tell you what you consider rude is inappropriate or wrong. We can disagree, but you have to respect my opinion, or we cannot speak. Asking me for a nickname insinuates my given name is not worthy for you to remember and is a sign of disrespect for me. Others may disagree, but that is my opinion, and I am entitled to it. Just don’t tell my opinion about my name is wrong or that I am overreacting in my unwillingness to share a nickname. To be clear, yes, my family does call me by a nickname that some would consider more corporately appropriate than Sherrika. However, Sherrika was the name assigned to me at birth and the one I am happy to live with.
My blackness does not insinuate my upbringing. In a recent conversation with a White male, he says: I don’t mean to be offensive (which of course means the offense is coming), but I grew up poor. We struggled. We had to fight for our food because there was not enough for everyone. He went on to speak from there, but I was stuck in time. Why would your comment about your upbringing be offensive to me? Unless you assumed I grew up the same way, and you do not want to take anything from my experience. What would allow this person to have this assumption about me other than the fact that I am Black? He and I have never had a conversation about my background. It’s not the vehicles I drive. He’s never seen my home and has no clue what I do for a living. Our prior conversation was based on the school systems in our town and how he was so glad his child was connected to kids like mine and some of the other Black parents whose kids are in Advanced Placement and TAG (Talented and Gifted) courses in school. However, his comment was a trigger for me. It took me back to my days in corporate when the White men would try to resonate with me by telling me what rap artists they liked. I am a successful, Black woman thriving in life while still moving toward my purpose. Whether I grew up in a struggling, single-parent household or with two parents that were very supportive of my education and growth into the woman I am today, my skin color does not define my past or my future. My skin color does not dictate how much money I can make. While I am sure he truly meant no offense in his comment. It is ignorant comments like this that remind me how far we still must go in our fight to be seen as equals as opposed to the constant underdog. My Blackness does not mean I come with a story of my struggle or that I need a handout.
My commentary and inspiration for this article were initiated by a recent LinkedIn post by Mita Mallick on the importance of pronouncing and spelling names correctly. Thanks, Mita. However, as I begin to ponder and study the topic of mispronunciation of names, other very real offenses came to mind. There will be some who may not see the offense in any of these notes. And you probably look nothing like me if so. However, the purpose of these words is not to call out, but to bring exposure to how our daily habits can impact others. How we need to be aware of the words we say, and the shift in conversation, gaze, or how the tone of the conversation changes when we utter certain words or phrases. Let’s be aware of the nonverbal cues because they often tell us a lot more than words can say.
My name is Sherrika Sanders. I specialize in helping accounting teams of small and medium-sized, private, and PE-backed companies increase their productivity by identifying errors and inefficiencies in their current processes. Additionally, I coach the teams and individuals within these organizations on understanding and overcoming the limitations keeping them from growing in their careers. I have been overworked, under-resourced, and struggled to meet deadlines, but found a way to excel in my career while continuing to meet the demands of corporate America. I help professionals show up as the best YOU every day while incorporating some basic business principles. Connect with me to see how:
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