Stress is normal. Right? Every day we are presented with a level of stress (good or bad) that we must work through. Racing from deadline to deadline. Lack of support from your manager. Unstable organizations. However, consistent stress can lead to anxiety. And, no, stress and anxiety are not the same. Anxiety is that feeling of excessive worry that lingers in the absence of a stressor. It was my anxiety about work that ultimately led to my leaving corporate America. I initially attempted to address the issue by changing companies. However, I soon realized that corporate America was no longer serving me. Almost immediately upon making this decision, many of the symptoms that were the result of my anxiety went away. While leaving your current position is not the ideal scenario for most. Below are a few tips that did help me to cope with my anxiety before I made the ultimate decision to remove myself from the situation for good. These tips should be practiced as often as possible.
1. Acknowledge How You Feel. Your feelings are valid and should never be pushed aside because of inconvenience or for fear of overreacting. Your body will always give you signs when something is wrong. Listen to your body and pay attention to when systems start. Do you get a headache every morning on your way into the office? Saturday mornings are okay. Sundays start okay – until the evening when you are preparing for the week ahead. Pay attention to the thoughts that come along with these signs. Are these thoughts valid? Is your manager really going to fire you because you are running 10 minutes late for the meeting when they just told you how proud they are of your work? Or is it your perception of perfection causing the issue? Are you nervous that your coworker is going to call you out in the meeting for making a mistake on an assignment? Well, beat them to the punch. Call out your own mistake and acknowledge what happened and what remedies have been put in place to keep this from happening again. Sometimes it is our negative thoughts of being the perfect employee that creates unnecessary anxiety. But if the anxiety is not self-inflicted and your manager has threatened to fire you, and the coworker found the mistake before you did and decided to call you out in front of the management team. Then, it is time for a conversation. This is not a conversation with your manager about all the things they are doing wrong when you are trying to do right. It is a conversation about how actions within the organization impact you and what you need from them to be successful in your role. Just as you are given a list of job duties you are expected to perform, your organization should be able to accept any reasonable requests regarding what you need to be successful in their organization.
2. Set Clear Boundaries and Stick to Them. Learn to say “no” when you are at your capacity. Your capacity is not the same as the person next to you, so their threshold should not be used as a marker to determine how much you can handle. Take time off, and then actually take the time off. Learn to disconnect. The building will continue to stand if you are not in it for one day. Your team should be able to function without you. While leaders often feel they are managing themselves out of a job when their teams can perform successfully in their absence. This is the furthest from the truth. Being a manager with a team that is still able to get things done without having you look over their shoulder is a compliment and testament to your leadership abilities. Get ready for your promotion if this is you. Set work hours to instant messaging and email on your phone. Your manager working at 10 PM each night is not your obligation to do the same.
3. Set Realistic Goals and Deadlines. Work with your manager and your team if you are a manager to set your goals for the next three, six, and 12 months. SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound) goals are a real thing. Stay accountable to these goals. When making a daily to-do list, categorize by priority. Whatever is not done will have to wait until tomorrow…or the next day. See what you can delegate to a team member. Show that you trust your employees by allowing them to step in and help. Whatever method of listing or goal setting you decide, make sure your list is realistic. If it takes an hour to complete the report, with no interruptions, then plan to spend two hours on the report. Interruptions will happen. Often from the person pushing the deadline. Set the expectation when the assignment is given. Always aim to under-promise and over-deliver. Meaning: if your assignment should take an hour. Ask for two so there is additional time for interruptions. Even if your task takes 1.5 hours, you were still able to provide an answer within the time originally communicated. Setting the right expectations also removes unnecessary stress. It allows management to trust not only your work but your word. Consistently failing to meet deadlines causes others to not trust what you say or the work you provide, so ensure your goals are realistic and attainable. Do not set a goal to leave the office by 4:30 PM when you know your manager likes to debrief at 4 PM. As a result, you spend the time meeting with your manager looking at the clock, trying to rush through the conversation, leaving out important details regarding a request because you set an unrealistic expectation.
Stress and even anxiety can be normal – to an extent. However, it is our decision how we choose to handle these scenarios when presented. Listen to your body. Pay attention to your thoughts and the words you say to yourself. No person should have so much control over your mind and body that you cannot thrive in any situation.
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